A Letter to Her

By Jae Vitug | World of Thoughts ©


“You’ve never really moved on until you see him with someone else.”

July 1, 2015

Dear You,

I know we haven’t been properly introduced, but I know you, you probably know me as well.

I saw you with him at a club one time, it was the first time that you guys met. I know, because I watched him as he got introduced to you. The next thing I saw, were you guys kissing.

I didn’t come to get him, we were over, and I’m not competitive. It hurts but I don’t wanna ruin it.

I thought he was alone for all those two months I was trying to get over him while I was out of town. I thought it was a one-time deal with you guys, but I just knew as of recently that you continued seeing each other.

You’re beautiful, some girls may like him too, but he’ll show them he already has you. Don’t be insecure when other girls take a picture with him. Support him in that. He can be really flattered, but he will never choose them over you.

He will love you with all his heart. Never take it for granted, treasure it.

I will never have fully moved on until I’d know that there’s someone for him, guiding him. I’m not saying he’s weak, he’s a very strong man. He’s amazing, in fact the most amazing person I’ve ever met yet, he’s just different.

Please take care of him, please don’t make the same mistakes that I did. If anything, be completely honest with him, be straightforward, don’t be afraid, he won’t judge you, he will talk to you and help you.

He’s quiet, but you would know how he feels by just looking at his eyes, those beautiful cloudy blue eyes that are yours to stare at now.

He may seem like he doesn’t care, he will even tell you he doesn’t care when he gets mad. But trust me, he’ll have your back, always.

There’s a convenient store across the street, make sure to grab his favorite mango juice before you come up to his place. There’s also this nearby pancake restaurant, his favorites would be the grilled chicken sandwich and peach waffles. He eats it after 8 am when he gets back from training. He’d also want his dinner as healthy as a white sauce tuna pasta with broccolis.

Play music for him when he gets his nap around 1 pm, that guy loves his bloke Ed Sheeran, but your own playlist will do as well. Update him of what’s happening with entertainment, business, world news, he likes hearing something new. Make sure to constantly motivate him of going to the gym, especially when he’s with you, he’d get lazy, cause he’d rather stay and hang out with you.

When he goes out with his mates, make sure to go with him, sometimes he may get really drunk, and he’d need you, stay up with him until he gets his sleep, take care of him. There’d always be a set of advil or aspirin by the window of his bedroom.

Ask him about his tattoos, one each day, he likes telling stories about it, the woman on his forearm, those three little angels, those five roses, and the meaning behind those roman numerals. He’s got a full sleeve so it won’t be hard for you.

Ask him of his hometown Nottingham, of how he started playing football, ask him of his family.

His sister is the most beautiful, his mom is the most caring, his dad is his number one fan, and his idol would always be his grandfather. You’ll know what I’m talking about when he opens up to you. He communicates with his loved ones usually via Skype, remind him about that when he gets really busy, he loves his family so much, he’s a different person with them, the child in him that you’ll never see.

Always have an oil or a lotion with you, preferably the tanning one, he likes his skin with a bit of a color. Massage him after every game, ask him how his legs feel like, or if he’s pulled his calf once again. Prompt him not to do so much to an extent. He’s had this surgery on his ankle a few years back, and I’m just afraid that one day it might get worse.

He likes it when his back gets tickled, he’ll ask you for it, it makes him relax. He does this cute weird soothing sound when you do it.

Praise him, caress his face and look at him directly in the eyes when you say it. He likes to feel beautiful, because he’s got his own insecurities as well.

At some point when he gets really mad on the phone or via text, catch a cab right away and come see him, hug him, kiss him on the cheek, talk to him, it’ll fade. Understand him, he must’ve had a really stressful day.

Never give up, he’s also fighting with his own demons. Just keep on going, be strong for him, hold him tight, and it’ll pass.

Once he wakes up by the sound of the alarm at 5:30 am, stand up as well, prepare a small snack such as a banana or a granola bar, take a shower with him, give him a kiss of goodbye and take care before you go back to sleep.

Don’t get mad at him when all he does is about football, he loves his passion as much as he’ll love you, always support him and don’t let him down. Go be there for him on his trainings and watch him by the bleachers on his big games.

Try to know more about football, you’ll fall in love with the sport like I did for sure. It’s just a bit complicated at first, but do this for him. He will very much appreciate it.

Hold his hand, kiss his forehead, ask him what’s wrong when you think there’s something different. When he says it’s nothing, ask him again, he’ll say it.

Be his best adviser.

Don’t be a disappointment like I once was. If he fights with you, be the mature one of the relationship, understand him, think about it and it will slowly make sense to you, but also let him know what he did wrong, he’ll listen, it’ll get to him. If he doesn’t apologize, don’t think that it was all your fault, don’t carry the world on your shoulders, breathe.

The hardest thing on this would be rumors, hearsays, and the backstabbers, don’t let it get to you, nor him. If you have questions, don’t keep it in, ask him, talk about it.

Relationships are about two people who comprehends each other.

He’ll always be the jealous one, and his ego would be enough not to tell you, but you’ll know. Assure him that there’s no one else but him.

Make time for him, plan a getaway, think of the most fun adventures, or even a simple dinner out, or indoors. Hang out with his friends, know each one of them, they’re all nice boys, just a bit crazy, but I’m sure you can handle it.

Make him smile, make him laugh, make him enjoy life, make him live in the moment. Do these, it’s all I’m ever going to ask from you.

Create the extra effort, remember that I haven’t done all those things for him. And that’s what I’ll always regret.

When the point comes that you feel all surges of emotions towards him, calm down, don’t overthink. Call him, tell him you’d wanna meet him, tell him how you feel, tell him you love him, before it’s too late.

I have loved him so much, and I might still do, maybe I still see hope, but all of that’s in a pause now, because he has you, and I’m not the one to ruin relationships.

It’s been four months since we’ve separated ways, but I just can’t seem to let go. You out of everyone would most figure out why.

I’m okay now, I’m not happy, but I’m not unhappy as well. I made it from a long way, everything I’ve been through but I’m only back stronger, better and changed.

I have met someone new about a few weeks after you two met. He’s being my inspiration, someone who’s helping me grow. I hope that you’re being the same for him as well.

I’m just here to say how grateful I am to have had a chance to be with him. He became a big part of my life, the one that made the most impact.

And I hope you take care of him more than I did. I loved him, but I think this is goodbye.

I hope you’ll love him just as much.

The Girl From His Past

How Long Will I Love YouI Miss You

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