By Jae Vitug | World of Thoughts ©
June 19, 2015
It’s because I don’t know how to reach you that I’m posting this in public.
We haven’t talked in six weeks but I’ve seen you twice.
If you’re reading this right now, I’m proud to say I found myself again. I realized my mistakes, and so I had to leave the town again for a month. I had to grow, I had to think, I had to be alone…
I am not expecting you to come back to my life. I just want us to talk, properly, but I respect it if you still don’t want to.
I really want to let you know that I apologize. I miss you so much, nothing can compare, because I still love you.
I’m letting you go slowly… I used to try alot, but I’m getting tired.
I’m moving on, I know I am, because I’ve already accepted that we can never be back together.
You will always have a special place in my heart. I wish you all the best, I just want you to be happy…
These words I found myself posting on my Facebook account. I know social media kills most relationships, but we aren’t even in a relationship anymore.
I had to do it, he’s blocked me mostly everywhere (he must’ve hated me so bad), but I know it will reach him.
I had the urge to post it when a good friend of mine sent me a photo of him walking alone downtown.
I hate to see him by himself… He’s always been that person to hide his feelings, he’s always been guarded, cold-hearted.
One time he told me it was the best way to be, for people not to abuse him, for whatever pain comes to his life would hurt him less.
Right now, I just wish for him to find someone, even if it’s not me, I want somebody there for him. Someone to set him straight, someone to make him believe in love again, someone who would treat him better. Because I found that one for me, I hope it’s the same for him.
I knew this girl from the past that hurt him, this girl has moved on, happy with another man. I guess when they saw each other again he’d hoped that they would work out but didn’t.
And then there was me, no one can never be stone cold, eventually, he let me in, I admit I didn’t treasure that. I know I ended up hurting him more.
I wish I could’ve still stayed by his side when we separated ways and proved him wrong. Instead I proved him right, I became reckless, I became this party girl, and I gave him a very wrong image of who I was. He had never stopped judging me by then.
I was heartbroken, I thought it was only dead-on to push the boat out and have fun being the single girl I am. I don’t wish to take it back though, I regret some things, but I’m happy I was given the chance, I realized so much from it, I’m growing slowly.
I know that this is just the beginning, there are more chapters in the book for us, we’re not even half-way through it, and I believe that, because I believe in us.
There’s still so much to go through, we both need to grow. After I’m mature enough, when I’m successful enough, I promise I will come back to see him again.
He is my first love, and I won’t ever forget him, he means so much to me, he’s made a big impact to my life.
I know I will always come back to him.
All rights reserved ©