By Ashley Massis | Elite Daily ©
I never thought of this time of the year as “breakup season.”
Then, when I ended a long-term relationship and six other couples ended theirs within a few week’s time, I started to think something must be in the water.
Whether long-term or short-term, breakups hurt.
You invested time and care into someone, and when that falls short and ends, it’s beyond disappointing.
You feel as if the rug was pulled out from underneath you. The longer or more serious the relationship, the more feels you’ll go through.
When someone is fresh out of a breakup, his or her wounds are exposed and trying to heal.
We look to our friends and family to help us get through it and be our crutches as we try to find our balance again.
We find strength in their wisdom, constant check ups and positive motivation.
However, sometimes the clichés we constantly hear from our loved ones become anything but helpful. Friends and family, we love you and thank you for your help.
We know later on we will appreciate the clichés and sayings you speak to us.
We know there are a million angry breakup songs to download on Spotify to help sympathize our feelings and let us know we will be okay eventually.
But, please try to refrain from these 10 clichés we don’t want to hear when we just had our hearts ripped out from our chests.
You may not think much about what you’re actually telling us, but here’s what we hear when you use one of those recycled sayings:
1. “You’ll be fine.”
Life moves on. I know someday, at one point, I will be fine. But at this point, I cannot think about anything but why this happened.
So please, bring me a pint of Ben & Jerry’s and with every spoonful, I’ll start feeling “fine.”
2. “You deserve better.”
Thank you, I appreciate the compliment. I know, and will know in a few weeks that I actually deserve better than what the relationship came to.
If my relationship was as peachy as I am pretending it was in my state of denial, I wouldn’t be throwing his stuff on the porch.
But right now, my heart has been completely ripped out and stomped on, and all I can think about is replaying old seasons of “Parks and Recreation” while blowing my nose in my hoodie’s sleeve and stalking all of his social media accounts.
3. “You don’t need to be with someone. Enjoy being free!”
Well, Mom, to be honest, does freedom essentially mean feeling terrible about myself because I just wasted time on someone who wasn’t my endgame?
Also, weren’t you the one who told me recently that you wanted grandchildren?
Thank you for your support and being there for me as I ugly cry on the phone about all of the stuff we’re splitting from our love nest.
Freedom feels incredibly lonely and now, I’m about to blow some savings on a new couch.
4. “Everything happens for a reason.”
I thought our serendipitous relationship happened for a reason.
Explain to me why this happened or I’m going to go back to listening to Taylor Swift on repeat.
5. “Stop looking for romance. When you stop trying, it’ll just happen.”
We live in a society where everyone is addicted to phones. Our generation wants everything right now.
If I stop trying, I’ll be reading books in my bathtub for the next five years.
So, are you telling me that my plumber will be the love of my life? Why is online dating so popular if it’s so easy to meet someone on the streets?
Sorry, but we actually do have to try or we won’t move forward or meet anyone.
6. “There are plenty of fish in the sea.”
Well, I wanted one, and now I’m burned by one. I cannot see anyone else in my life besides the one who broke my heart.
So, right now, the last thing I want to hear is that there are more of those types of men out there.
Right now, I want to curl up next to my dog and hibernate for the next year.
Oh, and please stop comparing me to fish. They don’t drink wine.
7. “You just need to get out there!”
So one person is telling me not to try hard, and the next is telling me to really get out there? (Proceeds to drink copious amounts of wine.)
8. “Just be yourself. Someone out there will love you for you!”
Who the hell have I been pretending to be? Lady Gaga? The last person I was myself with told me he lost interest in me. Being myself sounds like a real confidence booster.
9. “I never liked him.”
I love the man hate right now, lady friend, but what do you mean you never liked him?
What about the countless tailgates, inside jokes and dinners we all enjoyed together?
What did you see in him that you didn’t like and why the hell did you let me spend over a year with him? (Proceeds to drink copious amounts of wine.)
10. “Now you have time to work on yourself!”
Because I’m a complete mess of a person? Why do I need to work on myself if I should be myself when the love of my life eventually meets me? Doesn’t working on myself change who I am?